Friday, January 19, 2007

A light from up above pointing down at the misspelling of the General's name on the orders he carried in his pocket as he stood tall in the chaos

A week or so ago, maybe a little longer than that, I was asked to diagnose a potential driver problem occurring on a cheap laptop. I wanted to connect a kernel debugger to the laptop, because without one the failure was pretty opaque. The laptop did not have a serial port or a firewire port. It also lacked any expansion slots that might host such a connector. But the failure was occurring under Windows Vista. So there was one last hope: debugging via the USB 2.0 port. There are a number of difficulties involved in doing this. I never managed to get it working, but that's not the point. In my search for information on how to properly get the debugger connection working I stumbled upon this web gem: BEHOLD, THE LIGHT OF GOD SHINES UPON IT!

No, really, I don't care if you don't care about debugging via the USB port, click on that link. This guy Hector has a website called Hector's Memos. In it Windows driver developers can pretend like Hector's their boss sending them important memos about how to do their jobs effectively.

Which sounds like a fine bit of role-play, I guess, if you're into that kind of thing. A bit dull for my tastes... I mean, would it be just too much for America to handle if there was a website where you could be the cruel dungeonmaster, with the secrets of Windows driver programming known only by your sexy prisoner, whom you must seduce and torture until she lets you share in that knowledge? Really, would it? I mean, we've come so far!

But I stray from the point. Ah, yes, a fine bit of role-play, if you're into that office stuff, BUT WAIT! If you're looking for answers on arcane bits of Windows driver debugging you almost surely already have a job, an office and a boss. Why the hell do you need this Hector guy? Are you unsatisfied with your job? Do you want a boss as knowledgeable as Hector? Who will treat you with respect like Hector? Who will rub hot oil on your back, his wet bronzed body glistening in the Caribbean sun, strong fingers digging all in, releasing your tensions and cares to the ocean breeze, like Hector? And don't think that Hector's not enjoying his end of the game. A veritable sea of employees before him, who have strayed from their bosses, ready and waiting, on their knees begging for the Windows driver development knowledge that only he can dispense, "Oh, Hector!"

Oh, dear.

3 comments:

Danielle said...

Do you think Hector might look hot in leather prisoner apparel?

jl said...

hector? i know what to get you for your birthday...

Al Dimond said...

dw: I'm not really in a position to know that. See, my dungeon is going through a budget crisis. There's no money to buy clothes for anyone.

This has, however, led to unprecedented efficiency in the departments of torture and seduction. It got us featured on the cover of Dungeon World Journal last month.