Monday, August 11, 2008

Big Man

Courtesy of the lovely folk at Fire Joe Morgan (don't ask), here is a video about two reporters in China eating animal penises (EDIT: this has been moved here). Warning, this includes footage of them eating animal penises. Mostly noted because it's exactly as inane as it sounds. These are going to be the best Olympics ever (all three of 'em!)!

Now if you can manage to get through several minutes of these guys making idiots of themselves, you'll see that they took a 15-minute break from shoveling (artfully sliced) penises into their mouths to discuss the ethics of eating dog penis. Eventually they decided that eating dog penis is Not OK for them.

Hell, congratulations, eating dog penis is Not OK for me either. And they seemed to have a moment there. How often does do mass media folk consult their ethics and then talk about the results (however incoherently)? The ending, even, is a cliffhanger: did they go back in at all? What did they say — as many pains as they took to clumsily explain cultural relativism to their viewers, how would they explain it to the restaurateurs, with their more personal stake in the matter, and their position as Yet Another Representative Of China To The West In These Times?

But I'm, you know, a vegetarian (who embraces the hypocrisy of being vegetarian but not vegan in the same way that Joel Garreau's supposed Americans embrace the contradiction of building "cities in gardens", except I think I think I'm a lot stupider than they think they are, they seem to think (I think) that they're finding answers and shit literally by building and sprawling and driving a lot, and not by doing the things they do those things to do -- but this is outside the scope of the discussion, back to penis talk). These guys are emphatically not — they seem to, in fact, get even more of a macho kick from eating an animal's penis than they would even from generally eating animal flesh (surely a tough and manly thing to do in itself).

And the dog penis is the only one with a bone inside.

And nobody else has them.

These are going to be the best Olympics ever. All three of 'em.

(EDIT: shortly after finishing I realized this post needed more capitalization and pretentious pluralization, the scare-quotes of my Internet generation)

1 comment:

Danielle in Iowa said...

A bone? Really?