Friday, December 30, 2011

IT'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION TIME MOTHERFUCKERS

In 2012 I resolve to halve my weight and double my salary. To reduce my slavery bootprint and obliterate my carbon assprint. I'm gonna bike to Tacoma, then I'm gonna bike to Olympia, then I'm gonna bike to Portland, then I'm gonna get drunk as hell, wake up on the bus mall, fight a wino, hug it out, bike back home, and run a marathon. No, fuck it, an ultramarathon. I resolve to hack the world, patch all the world's vulnerabilities, then hack the world again, just because I said it was impossible.

Other things I resolve to double:

  • My followers on Google Plus
  • Number of computers to which I have root access
  • Length of blog posts
  • Old stuff in my house (working variety)
  • Bench press
  • Lines of code hacked
  • Lines of code deleted
  • Lines of code crushed, driven before me, lamentation of the women, &c.

Other things I resolve to halve:

  • PRs in the mile, 5k, and 10k (this implies WRs, too, but I'm gonna rock the humility this year, so I might not even tell anyone)
  • Number of people I follow on Google Plus
  • Lane-miles of freeway in King County
  • All haters

Nobody can possibly stop me.

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