*in·cred·i·bly stu·pid heu·ris·tics, n: Heuristics that happen to be wrong in my case.
The bug report lists a manifest that you can embed into patch.exe to fix the problem. It looks like this:
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?>
<assembly xmlns="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:asm.v1" manifestVersion="1.0">
<requestedExecutionLevel level="asInvoker" uiAccess="false"/>
Embedding it took me a while, but it's ultimately not that hard. First copy the manifest into a file somewhere. You have to use a tool called mt.exe, which is part of the Windows SDK. It's probably not in your path, but it's in the path of a Visual Studio Command Prompt. So open up one of those with admin permissions (under Win7: Start->All Programs->Microsoft Visual C++ 200x->Visual Studio Tools; right-click on Visual Studio 200x Command Prompt, select Run as administrator...). Then cd '\Program Files (x86)\GnuWin32\bin' (or wherever you've installed it) and mt -manifest yourfile -outputresource:patch.exe;1. Why ;1 at the end? Because Microsoft says so.